The Patriot spoof
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: Second tempt to this story.. Better and unintrupted this time
1. Chapter 1

**I know I tempted at this before.. But this time I am NOT quitting on myself.**

* * *

Joining the American revolution of 1776.

Benjamin Martin, a veteran of the French and Indian war is still not yet involved in the warfare against England.

Partically due to his wife being dead, and it's up to him alone to take care of his seven childrun.

Benjamin himself was found in a barn, trying to make a rocking chair, he finally seemed to have one, but it broke.

Benjamin lost his temper and threw it away in anger, revealing twenty other failed tries also, but when he saw one of his small childrun watching, he calmed himself down, probably not wanting to scare anyone.

Benjamn was later shown at his wife's tombstone giving flowers towards it.

* * *

MUCH LATER!

* * *

It was now the fairly late at night.

Everyone was asleep except for Benjamin and his eldest son Gabrial who's 18, and his second oldest son Thomas who's 14.

They were both anxiously for their father so they could open the mail.

"So, what came in the mail?" Benjamn asked after a brief silence.

Thomas and Gabrial ran over to the table they left the mail on.

Whie running back though, Thomas tripped and fell, and a unaware Gabrial tripped over Thomas's body, Benjamin looked away from the paper he was reading after hearing the noise, and they both bulted back up before his face turned to their direction, making him belief nothing happened.

Gabrial opened a letter that showed a list of new recruits.

"Hey check it out Dave Gibson joined" Gabrial said.

"Haha. Gibson.. What a stupid made up last name" Benjamin laughed.

"Also there's.. Peter Cupton.. He's seventeen, a year younger than I" Gabrial said seeming sad.

"We should attend the meeting.. It has been removed to-

"Charlettown! We're going to Charlettown!" Thomas cried excitedly.

"No, we're going to-

"Everyone! Were going to Charletown!" Thomas cried excitedly, running up the stairs, making everyone cheer in joy.

"Great, now we HAVE to go" Benjamin groaned annoyedly.

"Why don't I just take them" Gabrial suggested.

"Ya, why don't you SHUT UP!" Benjamin cried childishly.

* * *

The next morning the family arrived in Charelottown.

"Aunt Charrlete!" Most the kids cried excitedly.

"Childrun!" Aunt Charrlete cried happily.

"It's so good to see-

Suddenly there was a deafing loud noise.

Everyone looked over to see Benjamin holding a pistol in the air, with smoke coming from it, meaning it's just been fired.

"Greetings" Benjamin said, putting his pistol away.

"H Hi Ben" Charrlete said nervously.

"Why did you fire your gun?" Benjamin son Nathan asked.

"It's how he introduces himself" Gabrial annoyedly answered for Benjamin.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'll start us off at the meeting scene.**

**This obviously wont be historically accriate, but a film 1982 will be involved when Ben watchs tv at one point. (witch film it is, is for YOU to figure out, heehee).**

* * *

The judge was shown pounding his small hammer to silence the room.

"Our first order of bisness" the judge said.

"And our last! I hope" Peter Howard said, making everyone cheer.

"Yes, bu-

Everyone was startled by a sudden gunshot, everyone turned to where it came from and as you could expect it was Benjamin 'introducing himself'.

"I'm here, good to see you all" Benjamin greeted, as he and his family found seats.

"Uhh.. Anyway, General Lee is here to speak to us" the judge annanced.

And up stood a man with his American meltary uniform.

"You all know why I'm here.. We are at war with England" General lee told.

"Ya, but not South Carlina is NOT!" Peter argued.

"It involves us all.. We are still a nation" Lee said back.

"And what nation is that?" Wilkins asked, possibly sarcasstically.

"An AMERICAN NATION!" Peter cried angrily.

"There is no such thing.. And to speak of one is treason" Wilkins said rudely.

"YOUR A TREASON!" Peter cried out immaturally, earning a few cheers from others.

"Alright. Alright. Calm down everybody" the judge said pounding his small hammer again.

Peter gave a 'I'm watching you' motion to Wilker.

Benjamin soon stood up.

"Mister Howard, tell me.. Why should I trade one tyrant, three thousand miles away, for three thousand tyrants one mile away?" Benjamin asked sacrassically, making people laugh and Peter embarressed.

"Ahh.. You must be mister Martin. I understand you to be a patriot" Lee said.

"You heard wrong, I am not a patriot" Benjamin lyed.

"But your a veteran of the French and Indian war you not?" Lee asked.

"No, I'm not a veteran, I just servived the war" Benjamin answered.

"I'm pretty sure that is a-

"Oh ya.. Well.. You know what.. F*** YOU!" Benjamin cried angrily.

"I have seven childrun at home, my wife is dead.. Whos to care for them if I go to war.. I will not fight, and cause I will not fight, I will not sign for others to replace me" Benjamin said, shocking everyone and angering Gaberial into leaving the room.

Soon after Gaberial is preparing to inlist without his fathers promission.

Eventually, Benjamin resisted in trying to prevent this.

* * *

Almost a month later.

Gabrial wrote Thomas a letter saying he's sorry about Charelstown having fallen to British hands so quickly. Also says about losing his new friend Peter Cuppin, but hopes to see them all again.

Benjamin at the meantime was shown watching tv.

_(Heard from the screen, not actually shown)._

_MAN ONE: "HOLLY SHIT! THE BLOOD IS MOVING! KILL IT! KILL THE BLOOD!" _

_(Sound of knife stabing something)._

_(Horribly scream heard)._

_MAN TWO: "YA! F*** YOU TOO!"_

_(Sound of flameflower being used, more horrible screams as well)._

"Wow, this movie just keeps getting stranger" Benjamin said, not overly impressed sounding.

_(Shown from tv)_

_(Two men are shown, one is holding a flameflower)._

_"MAN 1: I think I got it" _

_MAN 2: "Good show lad"_

_(A certain amount of the blood jumps onto Man 1's face, making him freak out and run around in pointless cycles, and Man 2 watches with no tempt of helping him)._

"Man, these people are idiots" Benjamin said, giggling.

_(From screen, heard only)_

_MAN 1: "HOLLY MOTHER FU-_

Suddenly the films line was inturpted by a loud boom like sound, several of them, each reconized as a cannon blast.

* * *

Later that night.

A injured man came into their house, Benjamin, thinking he was threat pointed a pistol at him, telling the stranger to 'slowly turn', witch at that point he was revealed a Gabrial who Benjamin began healing, as Gaberial spoke of how he got here. He also said he couldn't stay, it wasn't safe, but after he said this a loud cannon blast was heard, a good amount followed, than, sudden silence.

Followed by more blasts and British a American soldiers appearing liturary just outside their house.

The kids watched on with unstandable amount of fear as they saw, up close, a battle between the units.

The Americans seemed to be doing a poor job, and dying easier than the British troops were.

This went on, until everything went black, as one of them fell against the screen.


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel woke up in a bed, patched up.

He saw a television on.

"Oh not THAT movie again.

_(SHOWN ON SCREEN)._

_ANNOUNCER: "And now back to THE SHINING"_

_(Jack panickally bursts through the door). _

_JACK: Wendy! Do you realize next door, there's a naked woman, that I totally.. Wasn't.. Kissing"_

_WENDY: "Not now Jack, have you seen Danny?"_

_JACK: "No, I haven't.. Red rum? (shows a glass of red liquid)._

* * *

Gabriel approched outside and saw the townsfolk treating injured soldiers of both American and British units.

Several of them threw up all over their healers.

Others had their healers throw up all over 'them'.

The lead British Leftenent (only nice British leader), approched Benjamin, nicely thanking him for treating his wounded soldiers.

Before long British Dagloons also rode into the small village, lead by the ruthless and cold hearted Conoral William Tavington.

Tavington, mistaking the black townfolks for slaves promised them freedom if they fight with their side, they said they aren't slaves but he forced them to fight among the British anyway.

He also arrested Gaberial for carrying a letter, and claiming it made him a spy.

Benjamin ran up, begging not to do this.

"Oh.. I get it, he's your son.. Well, prehaps you should of taught him something of loyality" Tavington said.

"Please, Conoral.. By the rules of war-

"Rules of war, would like a lesson ser? (points gun at Benjamin) on the rules of war" Tavington said coldly.

For whatever reason this caused Benjamin to laugh.

"What?" Tavington asked confusedly.

"Your gun.. It's a German Luger.. Those weren't made till would war two" Benjamin said laughing.

"It's a fanfiction spoof, why do you care!?" Tavington cried.

"Besides there was already movies from 1980's involved" Tavington asked.

"How do you know?" Benjamin asked.

"I watched them myself.. I had lots to do, before the _writer _needed me" Tavington said.

"True" Benjamin said admittedly.

Feeling defeated, Benjamin backed off, making Tavington grin ruthlessly.

"Oh, and say by to your house.. We will burn it" Tavington said coldly, witch Benjamin gave no response towards, and it even shocked a few of the British regulars.

"Ser?. What of the US wounded?" redcoat Leftenent asked.

"Kill them" Tavington ordered, much to the shock of the leftenent and most of his men.

Gabriel began getting tied up.

Thomas, realizing his father wasn't going to prevent this, tempted to save Gaberial, pushing away the British troops and tried saving his brother, only for Tavington to cruelly shoot him the the back with his gun.

Benjamin and his family ran up to the dying Thomas.

"THOMAS, WHAT THE HELL!.. THIS IS A FIFTY DOLLAR SWEATER ND YOUR F***IN BLEEDING ON IT!" Benjamin cried out angrily, as if that was all he cared about.

However Benjamin felt understandable amounts of huge sadness after Thomas slowly dyed not long after Benjmin screamed at him.

At the mean time, the British regulars were forced to burn the house and kill the wounded, despite the Leftenent's clear doudt and sadness about having to do such a thing.

Once the British left, Benjamin was now angry, as he ran into his burning home and quickly grabbed dozens of rifles, pistols, and a Tomahawk.

He came back, gave rifles to Nathan and Smaual and three ran into the forest.

* * *

MUCH LATER!

* * *

Benjamin and his two sons ran deep into the forest.

Finally they stopped.

"Alright, here's a good spot.. Lesson, when the Britsh arrive.. I'll fire first, I want you to start with the officials and work your way down. Can you you tell the difference?"

"Yes father" the other two both answered.

"What have I told you boys about shooting?" Benjamin asked.

"Aim small miss small"

"Aim small miss small.. Boys.. Smaual.. Steady"

* * *

The British troops soon arrived.

Before long, Benjamin fired his rifle and killed one of the officials.

All the red coats were clearly confused of were it came from.

Nathan and Smaual fired both their rifles killing two officals, one being the Leftenant from before.

Benjamin breifly revealed himself as he ran across from two trees, firing his pistol in the prograss.

The bullet hit a British soldiers forehead, but instead of dying he screamed and ran all over the place in panic.

The guy's screams were still heard in the background as Nathan and Smaual killed a few more soldiers, but the British turned to them, but Benjamin screamed making them turn to him, and Nathan and Smeaul again killed two others.

The screaming guy mistakingly banged into a thick tree and layed dead on the ground.

At this point Benjamin took out his tomahawk and ran down into the open, one British solder would of killed him but Gaberiel pushed him away, angering the soldier into beating the still handcuffed Gaberial.

Screaming like a wildman, Benjamin leaped into the air, like in Assasin's creed, but only a low jump, and ripped a nearby redcoat liturary in half.

Benjamin screamed at and pointed at anouther redcoat who was near the other guy ripped in half, Benjamin successed in scaring him, but as he was running away, he was killed by one of Nathan's and Smeuel's bullets.

Seemingly the only one left was the one holding Gaberial at knife point, Benjamin ran up, but from behind the wagon appeared many more red coats.

Benjamin quickly but brutally started killing the British units with badass melee moves.

One was pushed to the ground and Benjamin stabbed his tomahawk against him a few times.

The battle was quickly coming to an end as Benjamin acted liked a one man killing machine.

Benjamin eventually killed them all, and ended the battle by throwing his hatchet against the face of the redcoat holding Gaberial at knife point, saving his oldest sons life.

Nathan and Smeaul, realizing the battle is over, ran down to untie Gaberial.

A somehow alive, British soldier tried running but Benjamin ran after him, and killed him by throwing his tomahawk into his back.

However, Benjamin wasn't done with him, dead or not.

All of Benjamins anger finally made him snapp and he began ripping the corp into pieces, causing blood to spread all over him, as he did the motion fast as possible, screaming as if mental.

However Benjamin as he remembered the others and saw them looking at him in fear, Bejamin began walking back to them.

But half way, he ran back to the body, ripping up th rest of it, screaming mentally again.

"Father, cut it out! There's not even anything left to stab!" Gaberial cried out.

"THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING!" Benjamin screamed.

But after a near hour, Benjamin stopped as he realized there was liturary just a pool of blood left.

Benjamin walked back to others, one anger making him seem like a ghost disappearing.


	4. Chapter 4

LATER THAT EVENING!

* * *

Tavington learned from a servival of the massacre that Benjamin acted like a ghost, and the witness didn't even see him, and then he seemed to have vanished after everyone was slaughtered.

Meanwhile, Benjamin, Gaberial, Nathan and Smeaul were finally returning home, or, to aunt Charlottes home actually.

* * *

"When's father coming home?" one of the children asked sadly.

Aunt Charlotte responded with "I don't kn- (gunshot is heard from downstairs), oh, there he is"

Soon after his arrival, Benjamin tucked Nathan and Smeaul to bed. Nathan felt strangely glad that he killed those Brits.

"Dose that make me a bad person?" Nathan asked nervously.

"No of corse not.. You did what you had to do. Besides, this story is set in the colonial period, and we are in the middle of American revultion. And as such, even though many are probably as friendly as that Leftenant, the British 'regulars' are still the enamy, and we don't always have time to sympathy them" Benjamin answered.

Soon Benjamin went to Smeauls bedroom as well, but Smeaul couldn't even look at him, witch understandably hurt Benjamin emtionally.

Abit later.

After tucking all his childrun to bed, Benjamin felt lots of sadness over all that happened.

Charlotte tried insisting that he's done nothing to be ashamed of, but Benjamin replies that having done 'nothing' is what he's ashamed of.

Soon Gaberial greeted the two, saying that it's his duty to return to the military.

"No.. Your duty is here, with your family" Benjamin said.

Gaberial didn't respond, and began walking away.

"Don't you walk away from me boy!" Benjamin yelled sternly.

"I'M NOT A CHILD!" Gaberial screamed.

"YOUR MY CHILD!" Benjamin screamed back.

This caused a silence, but Gaberial still started leaving.

"Gaberial, please.. Thomas is dead.. How many more have to die before this all over" Benjamin said upsettly.

Gaberial paused, but once again, containued on his way.

"I'm losing my family" Benjamin said sadly to Charlotte.

* * *

LATER THE NEXT DAY!

* * *

Gaberial containued riding his horse, he saw a man speeding out of house, obviously having robbed it, as seeing Gaberial only made him speed up.

* * *

Gaberial wondered into the empty house, seeing everything thrown all over the place, Gaberial wondered upstairs, hearing music.

And from the top floor he saw a nearby field battle.

The British and American units playing their flutes and drums as they marched towards each other.

The Americans began firing their mullets (rifles) at the approching red coats.

For reasons I myself never understand the British gave the whole, not caring faces, as their men began dying wait next to them (liturary).

Gaberial briefly looked away from the conflict only to see his father at the doorway, carrying a mullet in his hands, along with his tomahawk and pistol both tucked away.

All Gaberial had was his mullet, but it was all he needed.

"I am not coming back" Gaberial said to Benjamin.

"No, I didn't think you would" Benjamin said as he and Gaberial watched to battle.

Benjamin went on about saying how General Gates is a damn fool.

Back with battle, the American finished firing from their side of the feild.

Now, it was the English's turn, and they began slaughtering the American units, who were better for showing fear of seeing people die all around them.

The Bitish also began using their cannons, witch tossed great amounts of the Americans in the air like paper in the wind (or whatever).

"My leg!" Many of the soldiers cried as background sounds.

One cannon blast was actually able to fully decapitate a young member of the US troops. I guess he _Headed _to the wrong spot, (nervous giggle).

_Benjamin and Gaberial look at me with unimpressed faces._

Fine I'll leave the jokes to the characters.

_GABERIAL: "Probably be best"_

The British cannons containued firing, and slaughtering the American troops.

"This battle was over before it began" Benjamin said sadly, as he and Gaberial left the house, as they did, Tavington and his Dragoons rode into the battle, cutting through the retreating Amercians, winning the day for the English soldiers.

* * *

LATER THE SAME DAY!

* * *

Benjamin and Gaberial arrived at a still in US hands, campsite, were servivals the field battle were getting open surgeries preformed.

Ben and Gaberial saw Lee when they entered one of the tents.

"Alright then" Benjamin said, firing his pistol in the air.

Even though this caused all the other Troops to briefly duck down from fear, Lee didn't even flinch, just calmly looked over.

"Oh, hi Ben" Lee said, as if use to it from him, in fact, he probably was.

"Afternoon" Benjamin said happily.

"I am in no mood for lecture" Lee groaned.

"Were's your general Gates?" Benjamin asked, putting his flintlock in its holder.

"Last anyone saw, running off crying like a girl.. I'm in charge now, I think" Lee replied.

"What are my orders?" Benjamin asked, making Lee smile abit.

"We are a breath away from losing this war, Benjamin" Lee said, patting Ben's back at least twice.

Lee said the only way to win, is by Marisas.

"But their not soldiers, they're farmers" Benjamin said.

"Your be in charge, as coronal. Your be for it" Lee said.

"As long my son gose as my second in command" Benjamin said.

"Next to Jean Villenuve, fine" Lee said.

"But he's French" Benjamin groaned.

"And" Villenuve said revealing himself.

"And I LOVE French soldiers" Benjamin said nervously.

* * *

"Ser, I've been a official here for years, I'll be off with the regulars" Gaberial insisted.

"Your my son.. I love my son, and wish to keep it that way" Ben said.

"Fine.. Let's split up and get recuits" Gaberial said, Ben nodded in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

Gaberial arrived at a church, just outside were a couple men hung and obviously were dead for quite some time.

Gaberial arrived inside the church itself, he tired asking for everyone's attention, but nobody heard him over their singing.

"EXCUSE ME!" Gaberial cried as loud as he could, still nobody heard him.

Gaberial prepared to fire his rifle into the air to get everyone to be aware of him.

However as he tried to do so, the gun wasn't seeming to be working, the trigger was jammed or something.

"Not again" Gaberial groaned.

But as he was trying to unjam it, it fired with him fully trying to have it do so.

Worse still, a man screamed horribly as the bullet was, unintentionally, lanced into his belly.

"OH MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY!" Gaberial cried out, as several woman screamed in the background.

"WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU KILLED THAT MAN!" the priest Reverand screamed, as everyone started speaking at once, out of panick.

"I'm sorry I-

"THIS IS A HOUSE OF GOD!" Reverant cried out angrily.

"I'm just looking for Marlisa recruits, whos with me?" Gaberial cried nervously.

"Anf bring more suffering to this town!?" Dan Scott cried, getting agreement from a lot of them.

Eventually this lead to bunch of men including Dan and even Reverant, standing up to show that they will join in the war.

* * *

ELSE WHERE!

* * *

Benjamin and Jean arrived at bar.

"Are you sure this is the right place to recruit for Marlisa?" Jean asked.

Benjamin shrugged.

"God save king George!" Benjamin cried, making everyone turn to the two, with angry faces.

Ben and Jean ran to the door as various objects were thrown at them.

"I think we went to the right place" Benjamin said breathlessly, from the other side of the building.

* * *

After salving the 'issue' Benjamin and Jean set up a recruiting table.

One of the first ones was a tall guy with black hair, and black fasical hair as well. He has no real name, so I'll him... Dave.

Anouther one was Rollin, after Benjamin said he can rob from whatever red coat he kills, he signed his name.

A old guy, gave them his slave Occum.

And eventually the last one was John Billings.

"There's a rumor going on, of twenty red coats got killed by a ghost or some damn thing" John said, seeming to know it was Ben's doing.

"Aren't you a little old to be believing in ghost stories" Benjamin said, grinning.

John giggled.


	6. Chapter 6

LATE THAT EVENING!

* * *

All the recruits meet up in a swamp like area.

The men Benjamin and Jean found, we're laughing the ones Gaberial brought, due to them being from the church as stuff.

Gaberial found his father making bullets and John Billings sitting not overly far away from him.

"These men.. They aren't the sort we need" Gaberial said admittedly.

"They are exactly the sort we need.. They fought this sort of war before" Benjamin replied.

"What about me? Am I that sort?" John asked.

"Hell no, your the sort that gives that sort, a bad name" Benjamin teased, making John giggle.

* * *

LATER THE NEXT DAY!

* * *

A unit of British soldiers were marching in the rain, with a wagon with them.

In matter of moments, Benjamin's Merlisa troops managed to kill everyone of them.

* * *

The day after that, British trooper were once again had bunch of units soldiers together, along with a wagon, but in the cornfeilds this time.

The US Melissa units gave a serprise attack, popping out the feilds quickly gunning down, screaming "Guess who motherF***ers!" to the, cart off guard, British soldiers.

Within moments they quickly started getting gunned down, before even getting a change to return fire.

Cause of this, the red coats ended up acting like frightened little childrun. All running in panicked cycles and screaming in fear, as if it was actually going to salve the situration.

One was shot in the face and the soldier beside him, pointed at him and screamed in fear.

Eventually, the last one left, tired getting away, but John fired his pistol at him, successfully killing him.

* * *

IN LETTER TO ANNE HOWARD.

_My dear Anne._

_Our forces containue to grow._

_As long as we containue to fight, others will come to our stand._

_I long to see you._

_Pray for me, but above all, pray for our cause._

_Forever yours._

_Gaberial.._

* * *

A few days later, the British were once again, traveling in a group, carrying a wagon along with them.

And British no idea wear it came from.

Suddenly, Reverant and the other church members started gunning down a couple of them, making thr British panick like small kids for whatever reason.

As the British did this, it sound liked the characters of spongebob. (the famish "my leg" line, mixed in with whines of pain, and panick sounds).

The servivers of the red coats, started retreating, but were serprise attacked by Benjamin and them.

They tired surrendering but Benjamin still melee killed them with his tomahawk, as if barelly even trying.

Gaberial and Reverand tried telling them to stop, as the British were tempting to surrender.

But Dave ignored him, and killed the last member, even though he was just trying to surrender.

"THESE MEN WERE ABOUT TO SURRENDER!" Gaberial cried out.

"Perhaps.. We may never know" Jean said ruthlessly.

"This is murder" Reverand cried.

"Ya, well, when their red coats.. They earned it" John said, just as ruthlessly.

"We are better men than that" Gaberial insisted.

"What do you know about war" Dave said rudely.

"I know the difference between fight for your country an-

"YOU GUYS DEFEND THE CHURCH!" Dave screamed angrily.

"I don't like being interu-

"ENOUGH!" Benjamin cried.

"Can I least finish my sen-

"In future cases, full quarter. Would be British wounded, and any that surrender" Benjamin said.

"Ya that seems fai-

"British gave no such qauter, when they burned a ship carrying my wife and daughter.. I watched from six feet away, as they were burned ALIVE!" Jean cried angrily.

"You have my sympathy, but my orders still" Ben replied.

"Damn your sympathy.. Who are you to give such a order.. I know what you and your countrymen did to mind on fort merchful" Jean said angrily.

"We're Merlisa. This not regular army.. Any man here is free to come and go as he pleases, but once your here.. You WILL follow my order or I will you shot" Benjamin said, eying Jean at the last line.

"In the meantime" Benjamin containued. "We need to keep our guard on, not let anything distract us from what is more im- (amazed by something off view), OH MY GOD! A FIRE HYDRANT!"

With that, Benjamin ran up to a conviently placed in a forest, fire hydrent, hopping and clapping his hands with a stupid sounding laugh as if mentally retarded.

Gaberial rolled his eyes annoyedly.

* * *

John and Rollin found two large dogs still guarding the red coats wagon.

"Just shoot it, just shoot the damn thing" John said.

Rollin got ready to do so, but Benjamin appeared telling him not to, grabbed a chicken John was eating, and used it to lead the dogs away from the wagon.

Inside the wagon, they found British letters, along with funitures inside the wagon.

"I say we kep the funiture, eat the dogs and use the letters to our advantage" John said.

"Eat the dogs!" Reverant said in serprise.

"Dog is a fine meal" Benjamin said, teasing him for his serprised reaction.

"Good heavens" Reverand said, in disbelieve.

John and Benjamin laughed at how much Reverand was falling for it.


	7. Chapter 7

That night all the men were gathered around the swamp area, somewhat of a party going on.

everyone was givin rifles, including Occum.

"I don't know about the rest of you. But I don't like the idea of giving muskets to skaves" Dan said rudely, making a few laugh.

"Your since of freedom, is as pale as your skin" Jean said, angered by the racistic jokes.

Dan rolled his eyes.

Occum sat beside Gaberial, reasonably feeling offended.

"Don't lesson to them.. When this is over everything will change" Gaberial said.

"What will change?" Occum groaned.

* * *

LATER THAT SAME EVENING!

* * *

In the middle of a British fort.

General Cornwillis was preparing for a fancy party.

Complaining about his dogs and stuff being lost.

And anger at Tavingtons none ability to stop the Malisa.

"It's their leader.. The ghost" Tavington responded.

Cornwallis told Tavington the ghost was his own fault, witch isn't far from the truth.

However.

Things only got worse for the British as unknown to them, Ben and them secretly set bombs on a ship carrying more of Cornwallis's belongings.

Shocking everyone, except oe lady, mistaking to explosion as splended fireworks, embarressing the woman's husband.

* * *

THE NEXT DAY!

* * *

Gaberial, with Peters permission, got to sleep with Anne at her house.

But do to their bundling bag tradition, it was liturary impossible for him to leave the bed.

"(Bundling bag traditions are a great one, (more sarcasstically), best of all, I'm claustrophobic, and am not even aloud to pee in this thing, and my blatter is shortening everyday.. THIS IS A GREAT NIGHT"

"Here have some tea" Anne said, giving him some.

"Lovely" Gaberial said, unknown to him Anne was getting him back for the ink moment, by giving him inked tea.

Anne laughed.

"What?" Gaberial asked confused.

"See for yourself" Anne said holding a hand mirror, Gaberial saw the ink in his mough.

"FU- (instantly skips to the next scene before he finishes).

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING!

* * *

"Thanks again for letting him sleep over" Benjamin said to Peter.

The two saw Anne and Gaberial kissing behind them.

"Oh look, Gaberial knows tungue smoothes" Benamin said slyly.

Peter didn't respond.

"Gaberial! Time to go!" Brnjamin called to his son, making Gaberial and Anne stop kissing, Anne unknowingly revealed the ink went on her teeth.

Gaberial confused and slightly creeped out Benjamin, as he grinned at him, still with ink filled teeth.


	8. Chapter 8

A bunch of British soldier were walking with a wagon, down a road.

They ran into Benjamin, porposely blocking their path.

"This road is closed, this path now belongs to the US army" Benjamin said.

The British Sgt split up his units making them twice as big.

Benjamin whistled and all his men revealed themselves, pointing their rifles.

"THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES!" Gaberial cried out, annoyingly.

* * *

Unknown to Benjamin's men, Tavington's Dragoons were soon to come as well.

* * *

"Sgt there's no need for you and your men to die, lead the wagon and leave" Benjamin said.

"WE WILL KILL YOU!" Gaberial cried annoyedly.

"Stand down!" Dan said off view.

"YA! STAND DOWN, CATS!" Gaberial cried annoyedly.

"Would you shut the f*** up already!" Benjamin cried annoyedly to Gaberial, making him stop talking that way as he groaned "fine" sadly.

"Seriously, just stand down" Dan said off view.

"This is the kings highway, (his men pull the blanket off the wagon, revealing even MORE men), I advise you and your men to stand down!" the Sgt cried sternly.

"There's troopes coming out of the wagon, father" Gaberial said.

"Really? I didn't notice" Benjamin sarcasstically replied.

After a long stare down between the units, Benjamin saw Tavingtons men riding towards them in a serprise attack, forcing Benjamin to order his men to fire, killing the Sgt and a good number of the British regulars.

But straight after this, the Merlisa were forced to retreat, as the rest of the regulars fired at them.

"Oh my god! There shooting at us!" Gaberial cried our, even though it was ridculously obvious.

The two units contained firing at each other, but they got separated, and many of the Merlisa got separated.

Many of Benjamin's men started getting killed, one of them taking a bullet to private, he held it in pain, as he fell sideways crying in pain.

Gaberial fired a bullet but it accidantly hit Dan, making a nervous Gaberial pick up the speed on his horse, so nobody would know.

Dan fell down to the ground nearly dead, Occum however managed to get him safety.

Half of the Merisa units were taken hostage by the Dragoons and red coats, Benjamin, Gaberial and the others were retreating, Tavington managed to shoot and kill one of them.

* * *

MUCH LATER!

* * *

"I did the count.. Twenty two dead, eighteen wounded, twenty are missing" Gaberial said sadly.

"I'm finished" Rollins said angrily leaving.

"He won't be the first to leave" Dave groaned.

"Trust me, my men will come" Jean insisted.

"The hell with you, and the hell with the French army" Dave groaned.

"Don't need them, we got Benjamin Martin, know he did to the French" anouther man added, making several people laugh cruelly, including Dave.

Gaberial approched Benjamin bagging to be told what happened at fort murceal and why everyone knows him for it.

Benjamin gave in a told about the horrible events that happened back then, and became saddened by the memories of it.

Gaberial suddenly remembered about Thomas and said their will be a time for revenge but not now.

"Oh god, Thomas.. How I miss him" Benjamin said sadly.

"I still remember the funeral" Gaberial said.

Benjamin nodded.

"Ya.. I think he might be dead" Gaberial said.

Benjamin layed their annoyed, before sarcassitically asking "is that what you think?"

"Ya, I'm quite sure of it" Gaberial replied.

Suddenly everyone saw Occum carrying a injured Dan, saying the red coats got eighteen of their men taken hostage and in need of rescue.


	9. Chapter 9

6:45 pm, British fortress.

* * *

Billings, Reverend and a bunch others of Benjamin team were taken hostage.

Reverend had them giving their final prayers.

Suddenly they saw Benjamin himself riding towards the fortress with a white flag.

He was greeted by Cornwallis.

Eventually Benjamin asked for releasing of his men, but Cornwallis denied them as soldiers.

Benjamin went literary crazy, "THEY'RE MY MEN! (pulling out gun) AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

This caused everyone to begin speaking in panic.

Cornwallis told him to remove the gun, and even tried taking it from him. They started wrestling for it, joining witch a bullet was mistakingly fired.

"Oh my god! He's dead!" Somebody cried out from off view.

"It was mostly 'your' fault" Benjamin groaned to Cornwallis, who didn't reply.

"Seriously though.. Release my men, or 18 of your officials will have to die.

"My officials?"

"What officials?"

"You said you have 18 of my officials?"

"Your a crazy man. You need to get that head looked after General" Benjamin replied.

"But you sai-

"Oh ya.. Those officials.. I'll lead you to their position" Benjamin said, leading Cornwallis to his window.

Cornwallis saw, what appeared to be captured red coats.

"What are there names?" Cornwallis asked.

"They refused to give their names, but their ranks are nine Sgts, 12 captains, and one very fat coronal who called me a.. uhhhh... Cheek, fella" Benjamin told Cornwallis.

"Well.. Coronal, you like to play risk don't you?" Cornwallis replied.

"Do you want to join?' Benjamin asked, playing Risk board game, with Cornwallis's lapdod, Charles O, Hera, who was trying 'unsuccessfully' to roll the dice, without it hitting the ground, or pieces.

"Fine, I will release your men" Cornwallis replied.

"Hold on.. I win, you lose, haw haw" Benjamin said to Charles, who in a childish temper tantrum, threw away the board across the room, and sat their angry.

* * *

7:05 pm.

* * *

Tavington arrived at the British fortress and saw a glimpse of Benjamin, he also was confused when the prisoners were released.

"Who is that man, I recognize him?" Tavington asked.

"He's the commander of the Merslia.. Your ghost" Charles replied.

Tavington lost it and pulled out his sword, but Charles ordered Tavington not to harm Benjamin, or their officials will be lost.

Tavington put away his sword, but teased Benjamin about remembering shooting Thomas and cruelly said he enjoyed it, in order to anger Benjamin.

Benjamin walked wait up to him saying "I do not like you.. I never will like you, I have more respect for the shit I invaded my toliet with, than I for you. I'm serprised anybody likes you for all you do, your cruel, ugly, annoying-

* * *

9:36 pm

* * *

"stupid and rule breaking..

_(Gaberial and few others are shown yarning and looking bored and tired)._

"And before this war is over I will rip out your eyes, jab them down your throat and have you watch as I slowly rip each body part off and cut them into bite sized pieces-

* * *

12:16 am

* * *

"And when it's finally all done, I will cut off your head and place it over my fireplace, as a constant reminder of what a cold hearted F*** looks like.. and this WILL happen, I will hunt you down and-

* * *

4:20 am

* * *

"And than.. And only than, would I be able to move on!"

Finally finished, Benjamin was intensely catching his breath.

"Why wait?" Tavington challanged.

"Soon" Benjamin 'promised'.

* * *

After Benjamin and them left, Cornwallis realized he was made a fool of, as he 'captured officals' were no more than scarecrows with British uniforms on.

* * *

Cornwallis very angered by what Benjamin did to him.

"Quite aggressive for a farmer with a pitchfork, wouldn't you say?" Tavington said, somewhat teasingly.

Cornwallis told Tavington to destory Benjamin in way possible, so Tavington started playing dirty.

And asked Wilker were Benjamin would keep his chuldren, and Wilker revealed the location of Charalete's plantation.


	10. Chapter 10

Tavington and his Dragoons rode to Charletes house, searching it for the childrun.

Unfortantly for Tavington they sneaked into the basement.

Although he nearly saw William, he saw no signs of life and left the building.

Charlotte and children witnessed the Dragoons interrogation one of the neighbors, a chubby looking black guy, who was either too frightened or to honorable to respond.

Suddenly a gun shot was heard, the poor man was shoot, but it wasn't shown, just the gun shot was heard.

_Distant voices, from off view._

_TAVINGTON: "What the hell was that!?"_

_BORDON: "He wasn't talking"_

_TAVINGTON: Ya, but that dosen't mean you kill him, whats wrong with you!"_

_WILKENS: "You gave him the node"_

_TAVINGTON: "Ya, a punch him in the face nod.. But Jesus Bordon, you have trigger happy issues"_

_(The voices began being spoken at once, and no longer hearable)._

Suddenly Gaberial appeared with Dan and Dave, secretly sneaking Charlotte and them away.

Tavington and the Dragoons set flame to Charlotte's home.

All the children gasped in fear.

"I think the house is burning" Gaberial said stupidly.

Suddenly Benjamin and the rest of the Merlisa's arrived, driving the Dragoons as far as possible.

* * *

"They will not stop hunting us, will they?" Charlotte asked sadly.

"Your be safe we're taking you, father says its the only safespot away from the red coats" Gaberial.

"Were is father?" Susan asked, pleasently serprising Gaberial, as it was the first time she spoke since their mom died, was all the way back in 1772 when she was first born.

"Why did he leave?" Susan asked.

"Well.. Susan.. He didn't want those men to catch you, so he sent them away.. He will be back though" Gaberial replied.

"I don't care I, I hate him" Susan said.

"Oh, sweetie, you don't hate him" Gaberial softly.

"I do, I hate him, and I hope he never comes back" Susan replied, and ran off, shocking everyone, partically Gaberial.

Silence.

"I think she hates him" Gaberial replied.

"What was your first hint?" Charlotte asked sarcasstically.

* * *

MEANWHILE!

* * *

The British Dragoons found a bunch of people to interrogate, including Rollis.

They wanted Rollis to reveal Benjamin and them in exchange for his servival.

Rollis refused telling Tavington to do his worse, witch Tabington 'promised' to do.

* * *

Gaberial was telling a happy Benjamin all about hearing Susan talking, but, to spare his feelings, he told him that she can't wait to see him and 'dosen't' hate him.

Suddenly one of Benjamins soldiers said that the dragoons had a list of their names and were destorying their homes to get to them.

John Billings quickly got on his horse and rode to, what was left of his house.

Unfortantly his entire family were murdered, having the poor guy lose everything.

Reverand tried reasoning with him, but John was too angry and upset.

Finally he turned his gun on himself.

Jean tried stopping him, but he already killed himself.

However, he somehow servived and was screaming horribly.

He fired it again, but again servived.

"Oh god! Why I can't I just die!" Billings screamed, firing more bullets on his head, showing to have like dozens of bullets all over his face, not making it seem even human more.

Billings fired against his neck, but still was unfortantly servived.

Finally, in a final tempt, he pushed himself of a huge cliff.

Silence.

"You think he's dead?" Dave asked, nobody partically.

"We should may as well, hope so" Dan replied.

"All of you, return to your family's.. Anyone who dosen't return, will not thought a coward" Benjamin said.

"At first" Gaberial replied.

Benjamin glared at him annoyedly.

* * *

**I'll skip to the wedding..**

* * *

Everyone was having a great time.

Benjamin gave Anne his wife's old necklace, than Gaberial took her to dance with her.

"By the way, I got married" Gaberial said.

"Ya.. I was there" Benjamin groaned.

"Ya, I think Anne is pretty too" Gaberial said happily.

"Yes bu-

"Ya.. Monkey are great" Gaberial said happily.

Benjamin rolled eyes.

Eventually Benjamin found Charlotte, and they ended up kissing.

* * *

Tomarrow afternoon, Tavington's dragoons broght all the townsfolks into the town church, including Anne and her family.

Nobody said anything, although one guy rated out Peter, and even after this, Tavington trapped them in the church, and forced Wilkins to burn it with them inside, despite hisclear regret he forced himself to do it, and lessened, in horror, to the screams of them trying to get out as despitely as possible.

* * *

LATER!

* * *

Benjamin's team found the burned down church.

And even though nobody new the 'truth' yet, Reverand was near tears, as I'm sure any priest would in his position.

Before long everyone realized the truth.

* * *

Benjamin and Reverand lead a bunch of troops who cart up with the dragoons, quickly prompting a battle.

"WILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" Gaberial screamed dramatically, as he was riding over.

"What dose that mean?" Reverand asked.

"I don't know, but it feels like I said it before!" Gaberial replied.

The intense battle containued.

Tavington, personally killed a good number of soldiers with his sword and pistol.

Before long Reverand, Gaberial, Tavington, Bomber and Wilkins were the only ones left.

Gaberial brutally killed killed Bomber and than got involved in a face to face battle with Wilkins.

Reverand and Tavington were both reloading at the same time, basically having a cowboy showdown.

Gaberial reached for his knife, and intensely stabbed it into Wilkins.

Twvington shot first, killing Reverand before he could hit him.

But unfortantly for Tavington grabbed the rifle and shot and seemingly killed Tavington.

Gaberial took his knife out of Wilkins preparing to finish off Tavington, but Tavington managed to stabe his sword through Gaberials body, having him fall to the ground, crying that he sees his blood. And it's AWSOME!

* * *

LATER AGAIN!

* * *

Benjamin and the rest of them discovered the battle's aftermath.

Benjamin saw Gaberial's, seemingly, dead body.

And quickly crying, though by doing so he released what sounded like the most blood curling screams imaginable, mixed in with the way Joe Swanson cried in "Ready, Willing, Disabled".

This scared a few, but most were giving prayer motions, at the tragedy.

"I can't believe he'shead" Benjamin said tearfully.

"I'm not dead" Gaberial said suddenly.

"Wait! I must burn the body!" Benjamin said suddenly.

"Burn the body!?" Gaberial cried.

"Yes! Burn the body!" Dave cried.

"(holds up lighter, as if almost praising it) Burn the body!" Benjamin cried out damatically.

everyone began repeating this, as if first cavemen first discovering something.

"Wait! WAIT!" Gaberial cried, but Benjamin set the body, he and others STILL thought was dead, on fire, strangely lighting up, as it oil was spilled over it.

Despite Gaberial releasing screams of a deranged woman in a horror movie, they still acted as if this was happening to a copse, and we're all praying again.

"I can still hear his sweet little voice" Benjamin said sadly.


	11. Chapter 11

Benjamin was deeply depressed by Gaberial's death.

And despite how hard Lee tried to convince him to stay the cause, Benjamin lost his faith in fighting, and quit.

* * *

Lee told the remainders of Benjamin's team the bad news.

"Oh f***!" Dave cried.

"Ya, tell me about it" Lee said sadly.

"f***!... f***, shit... shit... f***, shit.

_(screaming)_... F***!... SHIT!... F***, SHIT!... F***!... F***, SHIT!... SHIT!... F***, SHIT!

_(one hour later)._

"SHIT!... F***, SHIT!... F***IN SHIT!... F***, SHIT!... F***!... Okay I'm done"

* * *

Benjamin was preparing to leave, but had second thoughts when he saw a old american flag, Gaberial found from before.

* * *

The american regulars and Melisa troops were marching together, barely any faith shown in them without 'the ghost'.

However Benjamin shown started riding towards them, carrying the American 'stars and stripes'.

All the men started cheering happily, knowing Benjamin was here to stay.

* * *

The American general started complaining about how they were going to lose, partically with mostly Merlisa.

But Benjamin had an idea, on how to use, Cornwallis's hate for Merlisa.


	12. Chapter 12

The American regulars and Merlisa troopers, joined together, were marching towards the battlefield with Lee, Jean and Benjamin as the leaders.

The red coats were marched on the other side.

Cornwallis was shocked to see Merlisa formed in the front of the USA army.

* * *

"How old we're your daughters?" Benjamin asked.

"Emily, 10, and Meria, 12, they had green eyes" Jean replied.

"They sounded lovely"

"Yes... They were"

* * *

"It's October now" Dan said.

"So?" Occum asked.

"It's more than six months. Your a freeman" Dan said.

"I'm here on my own accord" Occum said.

"I'm honered to have you with us.. Honered" Dan said warmly.

* * *

"So whats happening, am I have more character highlight now? I mean with Gaberial dead, th-

_ME: "your still a background Dave, and this is the last chapter of the story, but, we're still see what the readers think"_

* * *

Benjamin and Jean soon ordered for everyone to begin firing at the red coats, and so they did.

Many of red coats started getting gunned down, but still kept calm faces, unbelievably.

However when it was the British's turn to fire back, the US troopers were less able to do so, and we're more scared.

Plus the red coats were using cannon's as well, making the US, liturary, flying all over.

One guy had a cannon ball smash off his leg with a crack sound, making him scream horribly, but at the same time Dave got a bullet in the hand, they both were screaming, as if somekind of shouting compitation between them.

Dave, while screaming showed his bleeding hand at the other guy on the ground, as if pointing out the injury.

The other guy did the same, screaming and acting as if pointing out his injury, but almost angry sounding, as if saying it's 'its better'.

This went on for quite some time between the two.

* * *

The two forces containued shooting at each other.

Eventually Tavington and hi replacement Dragoons, rode down to the battle dispite the order of it, never givin.

After a thick fight, the US eventually retreated, due to being outnumbered.

Cornwallis sent the entire battalion after them, despite being seemingly victorious.

* * *

Cornwallis's and Tavington's troopes, chased the retreaters, only to realize, it was 'planned on'.

The entire rest of the US regulars were there waiting for them.

And started firing their rifles and cannons.

The red coats were being blown to pieces, same with the Dragoons, Tavington, was soon by himself again.

However, just as victory was closest, the red coats revealed to have thousands more, they started firing their rifles and brutally killing the US.

Then the units ran at each other, and it turned to hand to hand combat for most.

Dave grabbed a guy and smashed his face against a nearby tree killing him, and causing Dave to flex his mussles and scream excitedly, like a steriotypical jock.

Jean stabbed his sword through a red coats stomach and it appeared out his back.

Dave grabbed a red coat by the neck and repeatly stabbed him with a knife.

Benjamin had his pistol out, and shot a nearby red coat.

Occum shot a red coat with his rifle.

Dan did the same, than stabbed his bayonet into one.

Jean touched his sword with a red coats bayonet, but than kicked the red coat, and stabbed and killed him.

A few of the US regulars were shot dead by red coats, but one stabbed his bayonet into a good many British troops.

Dave stabbed his knife into anouther red coat, screaming gibberous while doing so.

Eventually however, the US regulars were still outnumbered and started retreating.

Benjamin grabbed the US flag and waved it, to ensure there was no man retreating, this successed in doing so, witch Cornwallis probably never seen before.

* * *

Benjamin saw Tavingtom, and after failing to simply shoot him, they came into a epic face to face battle, Tavington with his sword, and Benjamin with his tomahawk and knife.

Evetually however Tavington stabbed Benjamin in the back, literary.

And as he stood down there, he saw the US were winning.

Tavington mocked Benjamin about not being the better man, but Benjamin stabbed him in the neck with a blade, after saying his sons were better men.

Cornwallis eventually surrwandered the feild, winning the US the day.

* * *

Eventually the French finally arrived and Cornwallis FULLY surrendered, and war was finally over.

* * *

ALMOST A MONTH LATER!

* * *

Benjamin, Charlotte and the children saw that a lot of Occum and Dan were leading a lot of the team in rebuilding Benjamin's old house.

* * *

Dave was shown over a old table.

"How you holding up Dave?" Dan asked.

"I'm great. I'm loving this, I never been so happy. This is so much (pounds table agressively) FUN!" Dave replied.

* * *

**Well.. I hope you liked the chapter..**

**Afraid this is the end of, not only the story, but of season three of my spoof series..**

**Will there be a season four?**

**We will have to find out, dun dun daaaaa..**


End file.
